ladies and gents.
we are officially over it. life is less complicated. fucking finally.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Saturday, January 16, 2010
this ties in with the post from the other day.
If I'm a bad person, you don't like me
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury? What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
We're the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Well, I guess I'll make my own way
It's a circle, a mean cycle
I can't excite you anymore
Where's your gavel? Your jury? What's my offense this time?
You're not a judge but if you're gonna judge me
Well, sentence me to another life
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
We're the friends who stuck together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
This is the best thing that could've happened
Any longer and I wouldn't have made it
It's not a war, no, it's not a rapture
I'm just a person but you can't take it
The same tricks that, that once fooled me
They won't get you anywhere
I'm not the same kid from your memory
Well, now I can fend for myself
Don't wanna hear your sad songs
I don't wanna feel your pain
When you swear it's all my fault
'Cause you know we're not the same
No, we're not the same, oh, we're not the same
Yeah, we used to stick together
We wrote our names in blood
But I guess you can't accept that the change is good
It's good, it's good
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Ignorance is your new best friend
Well, you treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
Well, I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
You treat me just like another stranger
Well, it's nice to meet you, sir
I guess I'll go, I best be on my way out
the message behind this song was recently pointed out to me by a friend who was like "man. this is totally what you and jordan are like" ha. its kinda true.
side note: i havent talked to him in almost two weeks. this is the best i've felt about myself in months.
side note: i havent talked to him in almost two weeks. this is the best i've felt about myself in months.
Friday, January 15, 2010
on a much lighter note.
I may have gotten a job today.
I applied at O'Malia's.
The manager asked this of me when I handed in the application "When can you start, we need a closer."
This job can transfer to a Marsh near me. This means a summer job too.
I have high hopes, kids, high hopes.
I applied at O'Malia's.
The manager asked this of me when I handed in the application "When can you start, we need a closer."
This job can transfer to a Marsh near me. This means a summer job too.
I have high hopes, kids, high hopes.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
"Savor the moment cause the memory's fleeting. Take a photograph, as the last train is leaving."
[Easy Target. Blink-182]
Okay, before I start, this is NOT an emo post. dont go that in depth. this is really nothing serious.
I have made a life decision today. not to beat a dead horse or anything, but this is a jordan related post. [side note: notice how i'm big enough to admit when things i say are about him?.. anywho..]
I have made the conscious decision to cut him from my life. i know, i know. i've said this before. heres the story as to why this is happening now. pardon me for yelling at him via my blog, i need to vent. here goes..
you dont get to act this way towards me. you dont get to call me selfish and uncaring when i'm not around when you want me to be. news flash bucko.. i dont have to care about you and your needs anymore. i chose to because i know you've been going through a difficult time. but i'm done. you burned this bridge. there's no going back. you will NOT guilt trip me for being with my grandma and not with you. heres a thought.. my grandpa died less than two months ago. when my grandma asks me to come over, i go over. she needs company for even the silliest reasons, like re-learning how to knit. i go over there because i know she just needed an excuse because she is still sad and is too proud a woman to admit it. you dont get to get offensive and call me insensitive and selfish for this reason. my phone died and i'm sorry i didnt realize it til 11 at night. you wanted to meet up with me. i get that. you had almost a month to do it. you chose two nights before i left to act on it. not my problem. at all. attempt number two didnt work either. why? i was sick. i didnt go out of my way to hurt you or make you feel like i didnt want to see you. you chose an inopportune time to get ahold of me. thats all there is to that. you didnt apologize for the things you said because you felt bad. you barely even apologized. when i said those things, while i admit i had no place saying them. i meant them. wholeheartedly. i believe you never actually changed. you met and talked to trashy internet girls before me, and thats exactly what you did after me. you plan to move out of state to see one of them. that is the stupidest thing i've ever heard. and no, i dont know this for fact, but i KNOW you. youre going to throw your life away because youre bitter and hurt. be bitter and hurt. youre allowed to be. but this goes to show that you are either being fake now, or you were with me. i'm choosing to think that youre not being your true self now. it makes me feel better. you do what you want. i'm done with you. i'm done with the bullshit. i'm done with feeling bad about what youre going through. if you want to get into who's being insensitive, that would be you. the whole time you were text-yelling at me, i can bet you didnt even think about why i was over at my grandma's. you were to concerned with getting the "closure" you so desperately needed, even though i know you've been up "claire's" ass for weeks now. fuck this. fuck you. fuck all of it. i'm done. goodbye jordan.
man. i feel better. that needed to be said. sorry if none of you care. i needed an outlet. :]
Edit: I will say this. You ARE a good person. you have many positive qualities and will make someone very happy in life. i realize that the aforementioned information spins you in a horrible light, but.. what you said to me was horrible. so it can only be expected. i did love you once, and i loved you for many reasons. but those reasons quickly faded as i noticed you changing on me. so no, you are not a horrible person, but this particular action was quite horrible.
I have made a life decision today. not to beat a dead horse or anything, but this is a jordan related post. [side note: notice how i'm big enough to admit when things i say are about him?.. anywho..]
I have made the conscious decision to cut him from my life. i know, i know. i've said this before. heres the story as to why this is happening now. pardon me for yelling at him via my blog, i need to vent. here goes..
you dont get to act this way towards me. you dont get to call me selfish and uncaring when i'm not around when you want me to be. news flash bucko.. i dont have to care about you and your needs anymore. i chose to because i know you've been going through a difficult time. but i'm done. you burned this bridge. there's no going back. you will NOT guilt trip me for being with my grandma and not with you. heres a thought.. my grandpa died less than two months ago. when my grandma asks me to come over, i go over. she needs company for even the silliest reasons, like re-learning how to knit. i go over there because i know she just needed an excuse because she is still sad and is too proud a woman to admit it. you dont get to get offensive and call me insensitive and selfish for this reason. my phone died and i'm sorry i didnt realize it til 11 at night. you wanted to meet up with me. i get that. you had almost a month to do it. you chose two nights before i left to act on it. not my problem. at all. attempt number two didnt work either. why? i was sick. i didnt go out of my way to hurt you or make you feel like i didnt want to see you. you chose an inopportune time to get ahold of me. thats all there is to that. you didnt apologize for the things you said because you felt bad. you barely even apologized. when i said those things, while i admit i had no place saying them. i meant them. wholeheartedly. i believe you never actually changed. you met and talked to trashy internet girls before me, and thats exactly what you did after me. you plan to move out of state to see one of them. that is the stupidest thing i've ever heard. and no, i dont know this for fact, but i KNOW you. youre going to throw your life away because youre bitter and hurt. be bitter and hurt. youre allowed to be. but this goes to show that you are either being fake now, or you were with me. i'm choosing to think that youre not being your true self now. it makes me feel better. you do what you want. i'm done with you. i'm done with the bullshit. i'm done with feeling bad about what youre going through. if you want to get into who's being insensitive, that would be you. the whole time you were text-yelling at me, i can bet you didnt even think about why i was over at my grandma's. you were to concerned with getting the "closure" you so desperately needed, even though i know you've been up "claire's" ass for weeks now. fuck this. fuck you. fuck all of it. i'm done. goodbye jordan.
man. i feel better. that needed to be said. sorry if none of you care. i needed an outlet. :]
Edit: I will say this. You ARE a good person. you have many positive qualities and will make someone very happy in life. i realize that the aforementioned information spins you in a horrible light, but.. what you said to me was horrible. so it can only be expected. i did love you once, and i loved you for many reasons. but those reasons quickly faded as i noticed you changing on me. so no, you are not a horrible person, but this particular action was quite horrible.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
a hodge-podge of thoughts
well, i had some more classes today.
i started my day with physics. this class is gonna be a weird one. my professor is very "pause-y". he takes really long pauses in his sentences. weird. that, and his notes are word for word out of the book. i hate that. i fell asleep in class today.
after physics i had orgo. orgo is soooo much more organized than last semester. we have lecture notes people! lecture notes! we're not just left to decide what she wants us to write and what she doesnt! i cant tell you how often i wrote down certain things that i thought were important and then ended up not getting mentioned at all.. these notes outline EXACTLY what she wants us to know. brilliant!!
i had bio discussion today. discussion is a class that gives us all the exam questions verbatim. no joke. how awesome is that?
my criminal justice class is friggin brilliant! my professor is so funny. he cracks a lot of "i hate purdue" jokes. sorry kayla. but as you know, youre the exception. :] we got nothing accomplished in class today. absolutely nothing.
Get Fit 2010 started today. i'm workin out 5 days a week. maybe not in a row, but i will get 5 hours of work out in each week. i'm pumped about it. i'm almost positive this will change. :p but for now, its workin for me. :]
thats all for tonight, kids. :] love ya!
i started my day with physics. this class is gonna be a weird one. my professor is very "pause-y". he takes really long pauses in his sentences. weird. that, and his notes are word for word out of the book. i hate that. i fell asleep in class today.
after physics i had orgo. orgo is soooo much more organized than last semester. we have lecture notes people! lecture notes! we're not just left to decide what she wants us to write and what she doesnt! i cant tell you how often i wrote down certain things that i thought were important and then ended up not getting mentioned at all.. these notes outline EXACTLY what she wants us to know. brilliant!!
i had bio discussion today. discussion is a class that gives us all the exam questions verbatim. no joke. how awesome is that?
my criminal justice class is friggin brilliant! my professor is so funny. he cracks a lot of "i hate purdue" jokes. sorry kayla. but as you know, youre the exception. :] we got nothing accomplished in class today. absolutely nothing.
Get Fit 2010 started today. i'm workin out 5 days a week. maybe not in a row, but i will get 5 hours of work out in each week. i'm pumped about it. i'm almost positive this will change. :p but for now, its workin for me. :]
thats all for tonight, kids. :] love ya!
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Job hunt part 1.
i went job hunting today and came to one conclusion:
kirkwood is not hiring. the entire street was like "no".
thursday i am trying places around college mall. not inside it, because.. i'll use the discount faaaar too much and never have any money. baaaad news. i'm thinking CVS [transferable] or borders. maybe even o'malia's. i dont know about that though.
kirkwood is not hiring. the entire street was like "no".
thursday i am trying places around college mall. not inside it, because.. i'll use the discount faaaar too much and never have any money. baaaad news. i'm thinking CVS [transferable] or borders. maybe even o'malia's. i dont know about that though.
Monday, January 11, 2010
and so it begins..
spring semester 2010 is here. and i have a good feeling about it. today was absolute hell. but we'll get to that in a minute. biggest thing about today? orgo. i seriously feel better about it this semester. this professor appears to be somewhat legit, unlike andrea-fucking-rude-as-hell-pellerito.. she seems nice. this is good. Kate Reck, please do not let me down!
i started my day with some physics. this professor has me a bit worried. he's american and all.. but his speech is still.. weird. he takes really long pauses in the middle of sentences. i hope i can follow him..
after physics comes good ol' orgo. dr. reck seems lovely. she's funny, and she was all "i know some of you have had an experience with this class. my class will not be like that" okay. not in so many words. but thats what i got out of it. so.
bio! by far my favorite. why? because my biology professor looks like the tiny old man from the six flags commercials. hes not as wrinkly, but still pretty close! i wont be able to pay attention to him. it doesnt help that he is quite funny. hmmm. evolutionary biology, what do you have in store for me?
criminal justice. i feel like this will be my best class this semester. see.. i picked up a criminal justice minor. i very well might add it as a second major.. who are we kidding? i'm not that ambitious. ahahahaha. anyways. my prof's name? Bill Head. he told us of his cousins name. Richard Head. can anyone guess the name he goes by? ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
orgo discussion. i have to attend them this semester. really, they're optional. but ive told myself that they are required for me. i WILL get my B!!!
physics lab. thats about to be a bunch of bullshit. i'm not worried at all.
mondays suck. class from 8-7:40. an hour break at 9. another at 11. an hour and a half break at 2:30. kill me.
tuesdays and thursdays are great though, i only have one class. a 9:05. delightful.
wednesdays i'm done by 2:15.
fridays i'm done at 1:10.
and, because physics discussion doesnt meet til thursday, NO CLASS TOMORROW!! :D
thats my beginning of the semester update.
ps. kayla, please come see me!!! i love you beef!!!
i started my day with some physics. this professor has me a bit worried. he's american and all.. but his speech is still.. weird. he takes really long pauses in the middle of sentences. i hope i can follow him..
after physics comes good ol' orgo. dr. reck seems lovely. she's funny, and she was all "i know some of you have had an experience with this class. my class will not be like that" okay. not in so many words. but thats what i got out of it. so.
bio! by far my favorite. why? because my biology professor looks like the tiny old man from the six flags commercials. hes not as wrinkly, but still pretty close! i wont be able to pay attention to him. it doesnt help that he is quite funny. hmmm. evolutionary biology, what do you have in store for me?
criminal justice. i feel like this will be my best class this semester. see.. i picked up a criminal justice minor. i very well might add it as a second major.. who are we kidding? i'm not that ambitious. ahahahaha. anyways. my prof's name? Bill Head. he told us of his cousins name. Richard Head. can anyone guess the name he goes by? ahahahahahahahahaha!!!!
orgo discussion. i have to attend them this semester. really, they're optional. but ive told myself that they are required for me. i WILL get my B!!!
physics lab. thats about to be a bunch of bullshit. i'm not worried at all.
mondays suck. class from 8-7:40. an hour break at 9. another at 11. an hour and a half break at 2:30. kill me.
tuesdays and thursdays are great though, i only have one class. a 9:05. delightful.
wednesdays i'm done by 2:15.
fridays i'm done at 1:10.
and, because physics discussion doesnt meet til thursday, NO CLASS TOMORROW!! :D
thats my beginning of the semester update.
ps. kayla, please come see me!!! i love you beef!!!
Sunday, January 10, 2010
super bummin
Chelsea got called into work this weekend.
purdue = a no go
my two bestest friends were gonna meet. chelsea and i would get good road tripin time in. lots of good music.
i was so excited to see my dearest k-bizzle once again.
ohhhh sadness. :[
we WILL go up there. those two WILL meet. :]
purdue = a no go
my two bestest friends were gonna meet. chelsea and i would get good road tripin time in. lots of good music.
i was so excited to see my dearest k-bizzle once again.
ohhhh sadness. :[
we WILL go up there. those two WILL meet. :]
news!
i get to go see kayla this weekend!! with chelsea!!!
yayyyy!!!!
ps. it feels so good to be back in bloomington. i spent last night:
a) at red lobster with chelsea and her family.
b) helping chelsea unpack and take down all her christmas stuff
and
c) playing mario kart and eating pizza x with josh.
god. i love it here.
i do miss my watermelon though. so sad.
yayyyy!!!!
ps. it feels so good to be back in bloomington. i spent last night:
a) at red lobster with chelsea and her family.
b) helping chelsea unpack and take down all her christmas stuff
and
c) playing mario kart and eating pizza x with josh.
god. i love it here.
i do miss my watermelon though. so sad.
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