to the friends that love and put up with me:

you guys are fantastic, thank you.

Love.

"Dreamed I could Fly;
I don't know why they say when you dream about flyin', you must be feelin' good.
I dreamed I could fly;
I got really high, I was dreaming about you."

these lyrics make my life better every time it sucks.
thanks dad.

favorite quote of the evening:

"they're both idiots in this town. republicans are mostly ignorant white trash bigots and the democrats are arrogant, self serving egotistical preachy bastards"
--he who eats indian food without me.. all the time..

lovelovelovelovelove!!

Three Signs You Know You're an Alcoholic:

1. after a night of heavy drinking, you wake up in the morning fully clothed going “hey. Somebody shit in my pants”

2. After a few cocktails you find yourself on the freeway going “why the fuck is everyone going the wrong way!”

3. You get drunk and decide you want Indian food. You wake up in the morning in Bombay with an elephant licking your balls.

Thank you Robin Williams! Love!!!

and this is why i have little faith in humanity some days..

"Someone told me once to come to the darkside they have cookies and milk!!! well wtf are you suppose to do when ur lactose and tolerant like me??? Bahahahaha"

christ almighty..

this song is my new favorite.

and it makes me a terrible SPEA major.. :D

FRANCO UN-AMERICAN BY NOFX

I never thought about the universe, it made me feel small
Never thought about the problems of this planet at all
Global warming, radio-active sites
Imperialistic wrongs and animal rights! no!

Why think of all the bad things when life is so good?
Why help with an 'am' when there's always a 'could'?
Let the whales worry about the poisons in the sea
Outside of california, it's foreign policy

I don't want changes, I have no reactions
Your dilemmas are my distractions

That's no way to go, franco un-american
No way to go, franco un-american
No way to go, franco un-american
No way to go, franco, franco un-american

I never looked around, never second-guessed
Then I read some howard zinn now I'm always depressed
And now I can't sleep from years of apathy
All because I read a little noam chomsky


[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/franco-un-american-lyrics-nofx.html ]

I'm eating vegetation, 'cause of fast food nation
I'm wearing a couple of shoes 'cause of globalization
I'm watching michael moore expose the awful truth
I'm listening to public enemy and reagan youth

I see no world peace 'cause of zealous armed forces
I eat no breath-mints 'cause their from de-hoofed horses
Now I can't believe; what an absolute failure
The president's laughing 'cause we voted for nader

That's no way to go, franco un-american
No way to go, franco un-american
No way to go, franco un-american
Where can we go, franco un-american

I want to move north and be a canadian
Or hang down low with the nice australians
I don't want to be another 'i-don't-care-ican'
What are we gonna do franco, franco un-american

my current thoughts on life

i've had a lot of down time today.
what did i fill that down time with?
lots of thinking.
i'm now going to tell you all about the thoughts that went through my mind today. read it or dont. your choice. :p

first of all, i woke up thinking. OHMYGODWHYISITSOFUCKINGCOLDINHERE!!! it was quite cold in my apartment this morning, or, all day really. i turned the heat on a couple of hours ago. i didnt really want to, but then i thought to myself, you're cold. youre wearing a hoodie and you have a blanket on and youre still cold. turn the damn heat on. and so i did, much to the dismay of my roommate, i imagine. sorry. i didnt want to be cold anymore.

i am really just over this school thing. i just dont like the monotony of it all. wake up. go to class. come home. do homework. maybe do something fun. go home. go to sleep. do it all again. thats literally my every day schedule, except on fridays and saturdays its work instead of class. its all quite tiresome after a while.

i have the best friends ever. you guys all rock. i know i've been quite the whiny baby lately, and i'm sorry for that. especially to my darling c-wikka wikka, seeing as how you get the majority of the bitching. youre the best. :]

i am feeling much better about my life now. things arent awesome, far from it, but i just stopped caring about the bullshit that was bringing me down. and ta da! i'm happy again. its a great thing.

okay. i'm gonna pass out now. goodnight.

the date is october 3rd.

and i just turned my heat on.
damn.

food for thought

hmm.
please just do what i ask of you.
it would make my day, seriously.
:]

new found perspective.

i am done being passive. done. absolutely done.

i'm tired of people coming at me from an unfair angle and controlling the outcomes of situations.
i'm tired of apologizing for things i'm not sorry about.
i'm tired of being a pushover.

it stops now.
i just went off on the one person who complicates my life more than anything in the world, and it felt wonderful. i'm almost sorry i was so harsh, but at the same time, i spoke my mind. i said exactly what i thought. and i felt so much better. the fact that i may have just ruined that friendship, which was about four years in the making kinda sucks, but i spoke my mind. i felt better.

i'm going do that from now on. i'm going to let it all hang out. you dont like it, then tough cookies.
deal with it.

i am having bad day.

i woke up this morning feeling like something bad was going to happen.
nothing bad happened, but i've been in a shit-tastic mood all day.
life just needs to knock it the hell off.

ps. i need a vacation.
and a date would be nice too.
i want someone to make me feel special. kaythanksbye.

"but i never said i would, i guess i'm gonna miss my chance again.."

[if it kills me. jason mraz.]

man.. life needs to slow down. i mean, really.

just a run down of my life at the present time:

1. i hate finite. its stupid. its not HARD, but its overly time consuming. i did not do well on my first exam, so i have to bust my ass the rest of the semester. helloooo office hours! having a friend in there is helping though, so i'll be okay. hopefully.

2. work. what to say about work. i really dont HATE it, but lets look at what it's doing to me.
a) i work EVERY friday and saturday, without fail. this is unfortunate for several reasons. i cant do anything on friday nights, and i dont want to do anything saturday nights because i'm friggin exhausted. major cut into the social life. also, this leaves me with sunday to do homework. thats fine and all, but i feel super stressed on sundays because of it.
b) people at work, while nice, dont talk. not really. we pretty much just stand there in silence. this is entirely different from back home. going to work was fun. i didnt mind it at all. people talked. we didnt ignore one another. it was nice.
overall, work is okay. i mean, i did this schedule to myself. next semester, i'm going to try and have only M/W or T/R classes. those days will be busy, but then i can work during the week and have some weekend days off. that'll be good for me.

3. family. while i find it inappropriate to post whats going on with this group on a blog, just know that some stuff is going on, and its stressing me out. really stressing me out.

4. to my roommate: upon recent discovery, you think i'm avoiding you. this could not be further from the truth. if i were avoiding you, i would not do it passively, as you claim. i'd make it blatantly obvious, i assure you. i've been busy with school, and with life drama. let me take this time to explain to you why you have not seen me this past week.
--M/W: you go in at 7. i have gone in with you these past few weeks, and will probably do so again. however, these past two weeks, i've been up til the wee hours of the morning doing homework and destressing, so i sleep in. thats all that is.
--T/R: these past two weeks i've gone into campus early to work on finite homework with kylee. its a time that works for her [it happens to be 8 am, which is sort of unfortunate], and so i go in because we work well together. we understand things that the other doesnt, its beneficial.
--as for the evenings, i've been going over to chelsea's, for a variety of reasons. last night it was to help her out with a poetry paper, the other nights its been to just hang out.

now.. i'll discuss this with you personally as well, but know that the conversation we had last week has not really left my mind. that just adds weird tension. i'm not upset with you, at all. i'll talk to you this afternoon about it.


anywayyyy.. back to my life.

the good stuff.

mom is coming to visit next sunday. :D
pretty excited.

im going to WI for spring break. why do i choose snow and cold over florida and warm? because i'm dumb. thats why. also because its going to be the best week ever!!!! :D

hanging out with chelsea and her muffin is probably one of the better times in my life. you kids are cool. just sayin.

i'm going to take a nap when i get home. who's excited? i'm excited.