i've learned to stay away from people in leather..

Kayla, K-bizzle, Kaneshwa A. Ghettosofa-

I love you and hate you all at the same time today. you are a brilliant person, and an incredibly mean one at the same time. what a cute little prank. making your beef think she had a crazy stalker on the loose. brilliant.

and jakob, kudos to you sir. that was the finest display of creepery i have ever seen.

this was quite funny. funny enough, in fact, that it gets its own blog post.
on the odd chance that someone other than kayla and allie read this thing, i will describe to you what happened tonight.

i randomly get a text message from a number i do not recognize. this is not alarming because my cell phone number is on facebook. it is on facebook so that on the off chance someone needs to get a hold of me, they can do so. anyway. the conversation went something like this:

Random Number: "Hey there.."

Me: "Hi. I'm sorry, this number looks familiar [i am lying. it doesnt look familiar] but i dont have it saved in my phone. Who is this?"

Random Number: "U didnt save my number... I put it in ur phone myself."

Me: "Um. I'm sorry? Who is this? :["

Random Number: "I think your cripply leg is sexy."

Me: "Okay. So clearly you know me. :p Please, I would love to talk to you. Just tell me who you are. Thank you. :]"

Random Number: "I'm still shocked you dont remember me. Do u remember a guy with red and blue hair dressed in black leather?"

Me: "Nope. :["

Random Number: "Awww dang. Well i just thought i'd let you know ur a great kisser."

Me: "You have got to be messing with me. I dont know who you are, unless this is one of two people, whose numbers i both have. Please tell me who you are. Please?"

Random Number: "Well maybe its one of those two.. What ppl do you know who wear leather and know ur a good kisser?"

Me: [i'm a little freaked at this point, thinking i had blacked out or something one night.. :p] "Neither of them. Please. just tell me who you are. it would make my day. Why? because obviously i know you well enough for you to call me out on the cripply leg thing. I feel like we're friends or something. so please, for the sake of my sanity, tell me who you are. i'm begging you. :p"


at this point i have called kayla, told her i have been texted by a creeper. i ask her to look up the number to see if its some friend of ours. she comes back with nothing. i tell her its all good, i'll just call carrie. she may have the number. while on the phone with carrie, my room phone rings. there is a man voice on the other end. i tell carrie i will call her right back. i talk to this person on the other end of my phone. their voice sounded unnervingly familiar.

i asked them who they were. still no answer. they just told me how sad they were that i did not remember them because i had told them that i really liked them. at this point i am racking my brain trying to figure out how i could have met this stranger. the toga party with jen immediately comes to mind. but i remember every person i met at that party. i know i didnt black out that night. i know i didnt. so. i ask this stranger to at least tell me how he knows who i am. mind you, i'm freaked out because this person has my room number, which only a few people know. he tells me we have a class together. this is when i really start freakin out. anyone that lives on campus has the ability to get my number. all they have to do is ask the center desk of my residence hall for it. and if this person was as good a creeper as they say they are, they would have known that.

i ask him to tell me what class we have together. he replies with: "criminal justice". i think to myself: "who the hell have i talked to in that class". i told him i had talked to no one from that class. he then tells me that he sees me in there all the time. i am intensely freaked out at this point. i wanted to know who he was. i asked. i heard laughing a couple times, and asked who was around him. he said it was his computer. anyway. i ask a few more times. he eventually starts laughing and says this: "i knocked over the hookah and you needed to go get detergent."

immediately i knew who this was. jakob. then i hear kayla in the background "beeeeeef!" i call them all bitches and assholes and what have you. this was brilliant, but it did not change the fact that i was about to have a damn coronary. i thought someone was creepin on me in class. weird.

good job guys. i salute you. you all are pure genius. bravo.