Sunday, March 30, 2008

this song goes out to the two of you. [because i love you]

Shadow of the Day
Linkin Park

I close both locks below the window.
I close both blinds and turn away.
Sometimes solutions aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you...

In cards and flowers on your window,
Your friends all plead for you to stay.
Sometimes beginnings aren’t so simple.
Sometimes goodbye’s the only way, oh.

And the sun will set for you,
The sun will set for you.
And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.

And the shadow of the day,
Will embrace the world in gray,
And the sun will set for you.


in other news.
spring break is at an end.
you have no idea how depressing that is for me.
im going to miss the sleeping til noon thing. and the whole, i dont have to do a damn thing all day long.
oh well, only 8 more mondays.

a] today was fantastical. the pasta and napping was great. yay us.

b] i love it when you go shopping. it works out well for me. =] i'll be sure and return the favor soon, mmk?

just remember what i said to you in the van.

im here if you need me.
if you dont have my number, email me or harrass people til you get it.
call me whenever.
stop by whenever.

i love you guys.

Friday, March 28, 2008

Partay in Galveston

these past few days have been pretty killer.

wednesday, ashley and mason [seans girlyfriend and roommate] came over. ya see, sean is a retard. he somehow lost the dipstick to his transmission fluid thingy to his car. so, they came into town to drive him to the junk yard so his van would run again. well...they fixed it. then ashley turns to sean and goes *hey baybay, your sister should come back with us.* sean agrees. i, however, had plans on thursday. apparently my plans dont matter. i was kidnapped and taken to galveston. it was actually pretty fun. we rented a whole lotta movies. wednesday night, i was up til 6 with mason, sean, and clark watching hot rod, reno 911:miami, and live free, die hard. it was pretty amazing. then the next day, ashley and i went to her house [she skipped school] scary thing about that is, as soon as we walked up stairs into her room, we hear the door shut. her dad came home. we thought of an excuse, she just told her dad that they had a half day, he didnt buy it i dont think, but ashley didnt get in any trouble, so its ok i guess. we spent the entire day in kokomo. driving around, doing absolutely nothing imortant. it was great. then we went back to the house, we started watching hairspray. [this is a movie that sean and mason said that they'd rather gouge out there own eyes than watch it..] well, we got one song into it, sean decides he needs a monster, or hes never going to make it through the entire movie. while hes gone, mason insults ashley. it ends up in mason being covered in water, and ashley being covered in mt. dew. [terrible waste...] but see, the funny thing about all that is, halfway through the movie, sean and mason are dancing and singing. it was GREAT. xD.

we went to sleep at like two.
i came home at like 11.
left at 2 to go to coffee with steph.
now im at bethanys house.
its gonna be a fun night.

im off for now.
i love you guys.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

IU just jumped up the list.

yeah. they want to give me $17,857.

they're looking pretty good right now.
im stoked. :]

mental note.

toothpaste + tea = icky.

Monday, March 24, 2008

the story so far.

The Story So Far
--Flogging Molly--

You always had what you wanted
So leave it behind
And if the glass isn't broken
Then the futures not blind
All that you know means nothing to you
But its the loss of control shatters the truth

Here's the story so far
It's already here
We've made it this far
Sure we battled the spears
But life cuts to pieces
To the wounds from the secrets
Makes it all who you are

Love craves self destruction
It's a blizzard in hand
Lay your cards on the table
But you're not in command
So burn with the fire
You so eagarly lit
Watch the flames flicker higher
Said I don't care about you

Here's the story so far
It's already here
We've made it this far
Sure we battled the spears
But life cuts to pieces
To the wounds from the secrets
Makes it all who you are

Oh it's bitter the pill
That you swallow to feel
I don't care what I lost
I just thank god I'm alive

Makes it all who you are [5x]

That's the story so far

i actually really love these lyrics.
finally, a flogging molly song that has lyrics worth posting. :]

Sunday, March 23, 2008

Fuzzy: Generally a BAD Thing.

Good Fuzzy

kitty cats
that one feeling you get in your stomach when good things happen. [tends to be accompanied by a warm feeling as well...]
amazingly warm blankets
bathroom rugs [yeah. i said that]

Bad Fuzzy

all foods other than peaches. [i.e. strawberries, your mothers nasty casserole dishes, ect.]
[people in general, they are just bad fuzzy...]
overly fuzzy animals.

ok, so this list doesnt prove what i wanted it to.
but i can promise you, bad fuzzy outweighs good fuzzy.
when i think of more, i'll add more.


ive been introduced to something amazing.
clicky here.
amazing. great fun.

so, today is easter.
have a good one. eat lots of food.

in willis' case, drink lots of ohj, ya sickly person, you. sheesh.
i hope everyone has a lovely day.
i know i will.

i love you all.

Saturday, March 22, 2008

i love

days like today, i love them.

ive had a so-so sort of week.

ive been kinda sad for the past few days.
but then a day like today comes along, and all is forgotten.

three things.

1. stand by me = amazing flippin movie

2. allie and willis:
i love you two so much, its ridiculous.
you guys are amazing.

3. i havent had this much fun in months.

i loved today.
plain and simple.
my friends are amazing.

photo post, later. maybe.

Friday, March 21, 2008

spring break plans

im so happy that spring break is finally here.

here are my plans.

today [friday]-- clean, clean, clean.
in hopes of mom giving me cash for an expected kokomo trip this week.
maybe go to allie's

saturday-- party with allie and willis.
im so uber excited about tomorrow.
its going to be a hoot

sunday-- family day.
brunch at my aunt janes house.
also, expected to be a hoot.

monday-- nothing. sean is babysitting for me, so i have a day to do stuff.
call me.

tuesday--babysitting til 4.
wont be too bad though.

wednesday-- babysitting til arjay gets off work.

thursday-- again, nothing. mom has the day off. call me!!

friday-- mom took friday off too...
kind of a waste, seeing as how i have nothing planned.
we should plan something.

saturday-- im not sure whats going on.

sunday-- probably go to allie's.

ta da.
i have lots of free days.

kidnap me, we'll have fun.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

im so ready for spring break............

today = worst day ever.
i just feel like crawling into bed and not leaving for the next three days.

im so overwhelmed.
a lot of this has to seem incredibly trivial and unimportant, but.
ive HAVE to bring my grades up this 9 weeks.
i have a feeling that my grandpa wont be around much longer. i know thats awfully pessimistic thinking. and i hate that im thinking that way. but his heart is failing him, hes on kidney dialysis, and hes 75. i dont like thinking that he's going to die. i love him too much for that to happen, but the thought wont leave my mind.
dad called me the other day, hammered out of his mind. my fear has been realized. ive had the feeling that he'd been drinking, i really have. but ive been giving him the benefit of the doubt for so long, ive become oblivious to his behavior. i know i threatened to cut him off, but i cant. hes my dad. i love him too much, there are days when hes the only one i can talk to, the only one who gets what im going through. i need him. i cant cut him off. i just cant. =[
i have to get graduation announcement sent out.
i have to plan my grad party.
i have to worry about school still.
i have yet to recieve my purdue letter, and as each day passes, i get more and more convinced im not going to be accepted. i couldnt handle that. i dont want to go to IU. i dont.

i seriously think i need to switch majors. i need something not science related.
as much as i love it, and as much as i know i'll enjoy a career out of it, chem ap has robbed me of my confidence in the subject. i feel like a failure. i feel like the dumbest person tippey has ever had the displeasure to teach.
today, we had to take a lab quiz.
yesterday, i knew exactly how to do it.
today, when i was handed the quiz. i froze. i went blank. i forgot everything.
i didnt write a single thing down.
theres just a bunch of scribbles. i tried. i really did.
but as i said, im a failure.
after i turned in my answerless paper..
i had a full blown panic attack.
i was hyperventilating.
i was crying.
i was being a total spaz.
jo noticed this.
she did her best to console me, didnt work.
im pretty sure everyone noticed and now thinks of me as a failure as well.
i hate feeling this way.
i hate my low self esteem.
i hate my inability to do simple stuff.
i hate my inability to be smart.

i hate it.
i hate it.
i hate it.

3-D art.
i hate mr. gunyon.
he called my idea elementary, something a five year old would do.
i wanted to do this batique [probably misspelled] thing, i wanted it to be my name in ransom letters, with a bunch of little designs that describe me. this was going to go in my dorm. [i figure it'd be amazing, and a good use of cinder block wall coverage]
but no.
gunyon told me that it wouldnt be aesthetically pleasing.
no, not to him, because its not done by the book, and god forbid anyone go against his ancient art texts.
that just peeved me.
he told me that if i did my idea, to not expect a decent grade on it.
i said, screw you you close minded idiot.
im doing my idea.
its going to look amazing.
im going to love it.
and if he gives me a bad grade, he'll hear from my mommy. xD

chem 2.
screwed up the lab.
i have to start over.
i feel incompetent.
i feel unable.
yet again,
i feel like failure.
its not a huge deal, i just hate the fact that i screwed up over something stupid.

i get home,
no purdue letter.
im getting really pissed at them.
like, really pissed.
now im just sitting here, so incredibly frustrated with everything.
im so ready to just quit.
i cant handle all this.
im going to lose it.
[as if three panic attacks over the same class in two weeks isnt losing it enough as is...]

sorry for this post.

i have to go do dishes now.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

ATF!! [Acquire the Fire]

friday, we got there about an hour or so late. we had super nosebleed seats.
super nosebleed seats = really steep/rail-less stairs = mega panic attack

angel went and told the people at the registration table about how i crip, and about how i freak when walking down stairs now [which, i really do] and they told her to pay $30 and we'd get lower stadium seating on saturday.
the crip.
its done good things for me twice now.
i love it.

saturday, we got there on time-ish.
we were walking to section H [right across from the stage.]
we had to turn around for something, i forget what.
anywho.. while walking against the traffic, i see this girl with red hair. and i saw her face.
i push her in her shoulder to get her attention and i say *cammy? OMG CAMMY*
[she and i met under pretty horrible circumstances, when i was dating daniel, she was the girl he cheated on me with. she had no clue i existed. she felt horrible. i told her it was over and done with. we became friends. ive never actually met the girl before, it was strictly a myspace/YIM friendship]
she looks at me and says *holy crap! DANI!
there was hugging. there was yelling. there was no phone number exchanging or picture taking however, we had to go separate ways.

all day i was like *gah, i hope i see her again, i need a picture.* allie had to have been getting annoyed with me.
we leave for dinner, boom. there she was. i stopped her, and then her friends rebe and julie [if i spelled those wrong..dont shoot me.] hugged me. it was nice.
then there was picture taking.
but we were dumb, still didnt exchange numbers. but at least we established which sections we were sitting in. they were in J, we were in H. so, after dinner, she comes over and we get each others numbers so we could text and whatnot. it was lovely.
truly the highlight of my day.

now for actual ATF.
it was AMAZING!
there was lots of screaming.
far too much.
superchick was amazing.
nevertheless puts on a good show.
the drama was pretty cool. kinda boring at the end, but pretty cool.
joel [speaker dude] was ok til the end.
he started talking about his stance on gay marriage and homosexuality, i disagreed.
i just think that at events like that, you should stay away from such heated topics.
bad things can end up happening.
which isnt the end goal at an event like that.

ATF put many different blog inspirations in my mind.
expect them. =]

im done for now.
photo post to come.

Friday, March 14, 2008

NCC/This Weekend.

first off. lets talk about NCC.
not amazing.
not by any means.

marion placed 4th overall.
Fine Arts--6th
Social Studies--5th
Interdisciplinary [ID]--2nd

the night was good.
it confused me though. gabby was acting as though nothing was wrong, and then today, she proceeds to ignore me again. i dont know whats going on with that. but, oh well.

yeah dood. thats this weekend.
allie and i will be gone from later on tonight til late tomorrow night.
i shall miss you all.
but, i'll be having fun, so i'll get over that. [jkjk]

it should be a great weekend.
expect photos.

i love you all.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

turning point in life. [i quit]

ive realized something tonight.
it takes a lot to piss me off.

but guess what.
ive reached my breaking point.
i feel attacked.
i feel like im being blamed for things i did not do.
you say your done with the hurt and trauma we've put you through.
gabby, what the hell do you think it does to me when you tell me how horrible im being to you.
how do you think that makes me feel.
i have news for you.
if you want to be this way, if you dont want to accept any form of an apology that i extend to you, then fine.
im done with you too.
i thought you were better than that, i thought that because of what you claim jen did to you, that you wouldnt do this.
but you did, you did exactly what jen did.
youre a hypocrite.
chances are, i'll get over this.
but as far as this *friendship* goes, it can never be the same.
i'll forgive you, i'll be friends with you.
but i wont ever trust you.
you hurt me.
you cut me deep.
i dont like being alienated.
i dont like being blamed.
i dont like being hurt.
so, goodbye gabby.
talk to me when you grow the fuck up.

allie-- im sorry for what happened today.
yes, i do want you at my party, but i also understand how much crosley means to you.
as you said, lets just deal with that issue when/if we have to.
i still love you.
youre still the macaroni to my cheese.
and we will still make pasta and garlic bread every friday.
im sorry.


Monday, March 10, 2008

just some lyrics.

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

this makes so much effing sense right now.

Sunday, March 9, 2008


yeah, youth was amazing tonight.

instead of going up to 4th floor, we helped out with childrens church.
it was a hoot.
i got to play with play-dough.
bobby-jack was there too.
it was a party.
'specially in the van. i swear, i dont think ive been hugged as many times as i was tonight at all in my life. [thats a really confusing sentence, i apologize]. thank you to allie and willis for that.

if i never hear a pronoun again, i will be one happy individual.
i felt really sick-ish in the van. [i ate my frosty really fast, and then all the random bumps and break checks....ughhh].
but i have chili now, so im ok.

seans 19th birthday is tomorrow.
happy birthday sean.

holly is giving birth right now. [woo]
i just found out that emily had her baby. congrats to her and adam.

im tired.
and, fyi allie = amazing. willis = fantastical. bobby = terrific.
i love you guys.

bye for now.

ps. my mouth feels funny. =]

Thursday, March 6, 2008

Overrated[[Everything Is]]

Overrated [Everything Is]
Less Than Jake

Maybe I'm jaded and bored

Always looking for more
Wait around for the next big fix
I know I'm a wreck, I'm a mess
But I couldn't care less
Don't know what it would take to change me

Everybody's so afraid to be different
Please excuse me now if I don't get it

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
Designer drugs and dead end jobs
And classic rock is so outdated
I'm so sick of therapy
And all the things you've done to me
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated

Maybe the problem is me
But I won't make believe
And I can't take this mediocrity
What if this is a test?
And I deserve what I get?
Will I wake up with all the answers?

Everybody's too afraid to be different
Please excuse me now if I don't listen

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
Designer drugs and dead end jobs
And classic rock is so outdated
I'm so sick of therapy
And all the things you've done to me
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated

(Woah, woah).
When everything is overrated.

Can't stand the normal
Can't stand the ordinary
Find me anything that's extraordinary
Show me something
Show me anything
Am I the only one?

I think sex is overrated
So is always getting wasted
All my friends and family
They make my life so complicated
I'm so sick of apathy and TV show reality
How can I be satisfied?
When everything is overrated.

Woah, woah.
When everything is overrated.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008


today = worst day ever.
1. mom tells me she *lost* my signature page to my FAFSA. which is a bad thing because i was supposed to have it to IU last saturday.

2. i swear, if i have pizza again within the next two weeks, i'll hurt someone.

3. i think im starting to contract that flu bug thing. [i need orange juice.]

4. i hate mrs. pearcy.

she was supposed to mail my fall grades to u of m a month ago!
yeah, i got a letter from michigan today saying that they still need them.
and because im out of state, they're not going to wait for me. im not going to get in. call me pessimistic, but i know im not getting in.
damnit damnit damnit damnit damnit.
i might as well kiss that dream goodbye.

thank you mariann pearcy.
thank you a whole FUCKING lot!

for the first time in a long time, i feel like crying.

2 hour delay and im awake.

yep. thank god for ice
i could be sleeping in right now, but im not. damn.

and im waiting for my clothes to dry so i can shower.
so i'll blog about nothing in the mean time. =]

i love my friends. they make me laugh oh so much.
my brother is a meanyface. he calls me yesterday just to tell me he bought the new flogging molly cd. click here to listen =]

it was very mean of him.
iss ok though. mom says she'll buy it for me some time this week-ish.

ok. im done wasting time.

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

you make me a better person

reflecting back on youth.
stealing blog ideas from allie.
and showing that i do pay attention when mike talks.

yet another shout out post.

youre a fun person to be around. you balance me out. i love you,
and the food we make.

you silly two cent gutter slut, i love you to death.
you entertain me to no end. i love that.

you crack me up. youre perhaps one of the nicest people ive ever met.
i love you lots.

i miss the hell out of you.
we need to hang out. like soon.

even though that stupid accent of yours gets annoying,
i am so happy im friends with you. you rock.
i love you

i'll finish this later.
sleep time.

it was in the name of science.

"Allie Pence" (12:15:43 AM): i propose we test it on ----
"Allie Pence" (12:15:50 AM): from the 4th floor window
"Allie Pence" (12:16:39 AM): and it's in the name of science
"Allie Pence" (12:16:48 AM): you like science
SoNotPerfect423 (12:17:39 AM): i do like science
"Allie Pence" (12:17:46 AM): so lets do it?
SoNotPerfect423 (12:18:05 AM): we could test reaction rate. how fast it takes all the blood to react with the ground. lets make it an experiment.
"Allie Pence" (12:18:18 AM): [00:19] Jordan: ITS OKAY!
"Allie Pence" (12:18:28 AM): we could
SoNotPerfect423 (12:18:35 AM): science makes all things legal.
"Allie Pence" (12:20:13 AM): I put glue on your seat to see how fast super glue really does dry. it was in the name of science.
SoNotPerfect423 (12:20:26 AM): ahaha. see. it works.
"Allie Pence" (12:20:48 AM): i threw water balloons in your room to see if you'd get wet.
SoNotPerfect423 (12:20:58 AM): i shot you in the jugular because i wanted to see how fast the blood drained from your body. it was in the name of science.
"Allie Pence" (12:22:00 AM): i shanked you in the eye to measure if you can feel pain.
"Allie Pence" (12:22:12 AM): it was in the name of science
"Allie Pence" (12:23:48 AM): i waxed the hair off of your body to see how much wax it'd take
"Allie Pence" (12:23:52 AM): that could be fun for jason
SoNotPerfect423 (12:24:14 AM): ahaha

Monday, March 3, 2008

[insert outlandish title here]

1. We have to post these rules before we give you the facts.
2. Players start with eight random facts/habits about themselves.
3. People who are tagged write their own blog post about their eight things and include these rules.
4. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names. Don’t forget to leave them a comment telling them they’re tagged and that they should read your blog.

1. first and foremost, i am probably the easiest person to please. you can do very little that would piss me off. it takes a whole lot to make me angry at you.

2. i have some freaky OCD tendencies. [if i can see the volume on a TV, it has to be on an interval of 5. if i shut the fridge and it doesnt make the right sound, i have to re-shut it. i count stairs obsessively. so on and so fourth.]

3. it would surprise you how many people im willing to take a bullet for.

4. i really really hate the crip. but, ive learned to deal with it.

5. i have a constant feeling of *youre only talking to me because of the crip* with most of my closest friends. [even though i know its not true, i think it all the time]

6. you could stab me in the back as many times as you pleased, and i'd probably still love you as much as i do now. [chances are, whatever you were saying was right anyways. xD]

7. i am rarely in a bad mood.

8. i thrive off of the problems of others. i have a compulsive need to fix people and the situations in which they find themselves.

now. i tag. mariah, mom, bethany, sillyfaceloserkins, kayXlaface, bobbyjack, deryk, faja.

Saturday, March 1, 2008


thats olivia.
im babysitting her right now. shes cuuuuuuuuuuuute.
[and she loves pictures.]

this week in review:
monday: a whole lotta nothing.
tuesday: half day. lunch with jen and rebecca at steak n shake.
wednesday: took ap chem test.
thursday: got a C on ap chem test. got a C on algebra test. got an A on english test. STAIR FIASCO!
friday: worst day ever. my head hurt, i couldnt focus on a damn thing. bombed an equations quiz in ap chem. went and saw the bucket list with stacey. good movie.
saturday: this was both a good and bad day. made 15 bucks for babysitting olivia.<3>
sunday: church in the morning. algebra homework in the afternoon. youth with allie and willis. more algebra homework. sleep.

notes on today:

willis and bobbyjack.
i love you both.
i really hope the two of you can work all this out. you guys need each other, whether youre willing to admit that or not.
i love you guys.

shes adorable. end of story. =]

music: time of dying--three days grace. listen to it.
mood: my head is pounding. damnit.


"Willis" (9:38:17 PM): Yeah, she rambled on about something that i couldnt pay much attention to due to my head throbbing. Children, van, mom, car.. ..ride, dani..
"Willis" (9:38:27 PM): I told her to remind me of whatever it was on sunday
"Willis" (9:38:31 PM): o.o
"Willis" (9:38:31 PM): O.O
"Willis" (9:38:35 PM): *falls over laughing*
SoNotPerfect423 (9:38:48 PM): dont hurt yourself dear.
SoNotPerfect423 (9:38:53 PM): whats so funny?
"Willis" (9:38:55 PM): Remind me to never put 'dani' and 'ride' in the same sentence again. its too funny.
SoNotPerfect423 (9:39:05 PM): hahahahahahahahahahhaha *dies*